Father’s Day is approaching.
It’s a wonderful time to honor a great man who taught, or is still teaching you everything about life. An amazing man who continues to love you for as long as he’s alive.
But what if you didn’t have such a wonderful father to nurture and love you as a child and as an adult?
How do you become a great dad when the one you have cares less about you?
It’s a sad situation to imagine when I didn’t have such a bad childhood. Being an only child, I had a fortunate upbringing. But my husband was not so lucky, he had it rough living in an abusive environment. To sum up, his father was not a good parent.
With that said, I’m dedicating this post to a man who despite his unfortunate past, has become an awesome dad.
I remember the day I told my husband we were expecting our first baby. Many emotions whirled inside him: happy, nervous, excited, anxious, and fearful. He definitely wanted to start a family, but being a father for the first time scared him.
Of course, he did not admit to his fear, but I could tell. He began to voice his concerns about job stability, and worries about parenting. The day I told him about my pregnancy was the day my husband started growing up. Yes, I said it and no, it didn’t happen right away. My husband gradually matured into a responsible adult.
I thought his transformation was a step in the right direction. Yet the awareness of his past childhood bothered me. After all, he didn’t have a good a role-model. So I was nervous not only for me, but also for him about being a parent.
Just because a boy did not have a good father doesn’t mean that he will inherently be a bad father. There are many fatherly role models in the community. Whether it be an uncle, a teacher, a coach, an older neighbor, a friend’s father, or a TV personality. For my husband, that role model was his grandfather and Bill Cosby.
If you grew up in the 80s, then you know all about the “Cosby Show.” My husband often imagined that “Heathcliff Huxtable” was his dad. Bill Cosby’s character personified everything about a father to my husband: loving, wise, devoted, respectable, strong, supportive, and funny. He wanted the tight-knit and nurturing family life portrayed in the “Cosby Show” for his own.
Then our daughter was born, and my husband vowed to be the kind of father he’s always wished for. Like with any new parent, he had a lot to learn. Just like with any learning experience, he gained the knowledge to become a better person and therefore, a good parent. His dedicated parenting skills became an asset when our son was diagnosed with ASD.
He simply puts the well-being of his family before his own. He does what it takes to keep his “little princess” and “little man” happy, healthy, safe, and loved. His children absolutely adore him, and this is his reward for being a loving father.
Our family life is filled with laughter, tears, chaos, fights, togetherness, and encouragement. We love and respect each other in the Vasquez home. For my husband, this is all that matters.
My husband may not have a good father, but that did not stop him from being a great dad.
Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful daddies and father figures out there!
I’m a proud graduate of Rutgers University School of Nursing and a Professional Registered Nurse specializing in Perinatology. When I’m not immersed in the joy of caring for growing families, including my own, you’ll find me reconnecting with the things that ground me — music, reading, and now, writing.
Reading offers me a momentary escape from the demands of my profession, but writing takes me somewhere deeper. It feels like navigating the New York City subway: characters and ideas rush in and out like passengers, some staying only for a moment, others riding with me for miles. There are delays, detours, and unexpected stops, but the journey always leads me closer to the stories I’m meant to tell.
Join me on this literary ride, where words become tracks and characters travel toward moments of challenge, transformation, and unforgettable destinations.
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