Just when I feel like I’m finally catching up with life, God tests me again. And the question is one I’ve struggled with for years — not because it’s complicated, but because I’ve never believed I could answer it honestly.

I’ve always had trouble finishing what I started. It haunts me like a ghost from old wounds, whispering reminders of what I think I can’t do.

If you asked me, “Lisa, do you write?” I’d say yes — I journal, I write reflections, I write reminders to myself. But I never knew if I could call myself a writer.

So God nudged me again — gently but firmly — reminding me of my purpose. God has whispered to me many times to start writing again, but I resisted. I chose to read inspirational quotes instead of creating my own. I chose to admire other people’s words instead of trusting the ones inside me.

Then God asked, “Tell me about yourself. Who are you?”

The question echoed in my mind in a familiar voice — someone who sees me, someone who challenges me, someone who wants to know the truth of me.

Who am I?

And I wrote. Parts 1, 2, and 3 poured out of me without resistance, without fear, without hesitation. And what I wrote surprised me.

It inspired me.

It reminded me.

I am a writer.

Because writing isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about finishing every project or never doubting yourself. Writing is about showing up — with honesty, with vulnerability, with truth.

And I want to empower myself, not enable my avoidance. I want to empower others too. All my inner parts — the wounded ones, the angry ones, the hopeful ones — are asking me to tell their stories. They want to be seen, heard, understood.

I know what I must do. I must finish telling my story.

The conflict has always been the same: Am I a writer?

But the answer is simple now: Trust. Believe. Know. I am one.

Life has been passing me by. I don’t stop and smell the roses. Sometimes I don’t even see them. Sometimes they’ve withered before I notice.

Those were the opening lines of Dissonance, the third installment of the series I started years ago. But I abandoned my characters the way I abandoned parts of myself — through avoidance, procrastination, fear.

I was self‑sabotaging.

So God stopped nudging gently. God started throwing signs at me and placing me inside the very stories I wrote years ago. Experiencing them. Living them. Facing them.

My challenge now is to see what I’m capable of. To see what I’ve learned. To grow like the seasons, moving through each one with intention. To stop letting life pass me by and instead let life flow through me like rivers and streams, without resistance.

To finally live. To thrive.

Maybe the answer I’ve been missing is simple:

Keep showing up.

Show up every second, every minute, every hour, every day. Show up for myself. Show up for my purpose. Show up for the life I want to create.

Every step counts. Every choice matters. Every moment is leading me somewhere beautiful. If I let it.

This journey can be an adventure. It can be mine.

Just be in my moment. Just breathe in life. Just take time for myself. Just rediscover me.

And the words that resonated so deeply remind me:

“One day soon, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come — and it will be worth every bit of patience, focus, and courage you’ve poured in along the way. You are building something that only time can reveal. Keep going.” ~ Divine Purpose

5 All the Parts that make Me Whole: I Am the Journey

When I look back at the path behind me — the wandering, the resisting, the running, the falling, the rising — I finally see the truth that was woven through every step…

Lisa Malabanan

I’m a proud graduate of Rutgers University School of Nursing and a Professional Registered Nurse specializing in Perinatology. When I’m not immersed in the joy of caring for growing families, including my own, you’ll find me reconnecting with the things that ground me — music, reading, and now, writing.

Reading offers me a momentary escape from the demands of my profession, but writing takes me somewhere deeper. It feels like navigating the New York City subway: characters and ideas rush in and out like passengers, some staying only for a moment, others riding with me for miles. There are delays, detours, and unexpected stops, but the journey always leads me closer to the stories I’m meant to tell.

Join me on this literary ride, where words become tracks and characters travel toward moments of challenge, transformation, and unforgettable destinations.